I'm Shane. For those of you who don't already know me welcome to the Chaos that is my life. Join me as I travel around the world on a sailboat. I walked away from a great career as a professional firefighter, a large luxurious home, everything I owned and even gave away my best friend Drake the dog. Why you ask? To travel the world on a boat. Cruising to foreign places all at 5 mph. From the Caribbean now to South America soon, I hope you will dig reading about all the ridiculous situations I will no doubt get myself into as I continue trying to adjust to this radical life switch.

*Update* So after over a year of not blogging I'm going to start again. I am spending the summer season on Catalina Island of the coast of California living onboard a 65 foot diveboat and teaching diving. I'm sure there will be plenty of chaos to follow.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Fuel Run Pics 3

Fuel Run Pics 2

Fuel run pics 1

Days of Diesel...

Well we made it back to Grenada in one piece. After 20 hours of motoring into headwinds, swells and a wicked current that sometimes was registering over 4 knots, we finally dropped anchor last night around 4 PM. We left the small offshore island chain of Los Testigos at 7:30 PM on Saturday night and it was approx 88 miles to Prickly Bay in Grenada. When we were finally here, the tripometer showed 140 nautical miles traveled meaning that in total we lost 52 miles to the current and wind. Crazy. Venezuela was great, well worth the run and the only bummer about it was having to turn around so fast and return. Here is my journal entry from Friday night when we were anchored in Los Testigos.

June 27, 2008 11:00 PM Playa Real, Los Testigos, Venezuela

The last few days have been fantastic. As reported, we left Grenada Monday evening bound for the island of Margarita in Venezuela. According to the pilot charts it would be a 139 mile downwind run. We left the anchorage and were underway around 9:30 that night. With the mainsail double reefed and the jib with a single reef we were making well over 7 knots immediately. Conditions were perfect and I anticipated a great sail. Approximately 5 miles southwest of Grenada we encountered our first problem, I know, big surprise. Poor Jaymie was baptized fairly quickly to the world of offshore sailing when we were almost run down by a large freighter whose only two lights were, as Jaymie put it, freaking candles. I called the freighter on the VHF when he was just over a mile off our starboard side and seemed to be headed directly for us. On my second attempt he responded, asking me to “slow down” when I was talking. Unfortunately I don’t speak rasta so I clearly and slowly repeated my inquiry as to his intentions, informing him that we were a sailing vessel and asking if he intended to pass us off our stern or if I needed to alter course. He assured me he was going to pass to stern. Apparently in Grenadian that translates to “I’m going to alter course when I’m about a quarter mile from running over your tiny ass boat” and by the time he made an alteration it was definitely too close for comfort. This 100 meter (at least) ship literally had two small white lights and no discernible navigational lights that would have helped me determine which direction he was headed. I left myself room to maneuver in case of emergency but in the end it was still closer than I prefer. Such is life in the Caribbean, rules are more guidelines than anything else. After that the sea was clear and Boogie jammed along making great speed in perfect conditions. Jaymie and I alternated watches throughout the night and we kept chewing up the miles. We were surfing down the swells with the wind and current to our backs and even after I completely rolled the jib up we were still making 8-9 knots under a double reefed mainsail. The log at one point had us at 10.4 knots, which to date is the fastest I have gone on this boat. So it went until the next afternoon when we sighted Margarita. By the late afternoon we were safely anchored in the harbor off the booming city of Porlamar. We had made the run in right at 20 hours and I was proud of this old girl as she got us there safely and hassle free. The anchorage off Porlamar is spectacular. Picture if downtown Los Angeles were on the coastline and you could anchor your boat less than a mile from shore and the backdrop is all those high rise buildings as far as you can see. Of all the places I have seen, this ranks right up there.

The next day, we were up in the morning and the agenda consisted of finding out how to get diesel as I have been desperately low for some time now. We took the dinghy in and started hoofing it, intent on finding out the best course to get filled up. I had read in the guides that there is a local pirogue boat that zooms around and pumps diesel straight into your boat. As we walked around trying to find a road into town, we were stopped by a gentleman by the name of Juan Baro. The dirt road we were on didn’t look promising and Juan informed us that it was better for us to avoid that particular route. He owns Marina Juan which is a do it all center for the yachting community that visits Porlamar. I inquired about diesel and as per usual for my luck (good old Capt Chaos) I was informed that the diesel boat was being repaired and it was unknown how long it would be out of service. What about the fuel dock? Nope. I am a foreign flagged vessel and I didn’t want to clear customs seeing as how the plan was to simply get fuel and head back to Grenada. Any other options? Jerry cans. Of course. I only need about 400 liters of fuel so that will be fun. I thanked Juan and went back to the boat to regroup and weigh the options. Jaymie and I had sailed all the way there solely for fuel and now it was unclear when that would be available. We could have sailed on another fifty or so miles to Cumana or Puerto La Cruz but that would be another fifty miles we would have to beat back to the East against current, swells and wind. I decided to see what kind of deal I could work out for a taxi to cruise me back and forth from the fuel station. At the time I had three 5 gallon cans that had diesel in them and after putting that 15 gallons in the port tank I still needed close to 100 gallons of fuel. Seeing as how that would take 7 trips back and forth I asked Juan to find me a taxi that would take me to a store so I could purchase more jerry cans and then hopefully make 3-4 trips total. He found me a driver, my man Antonio, who offered to drive me for 35 Bolivars an hour, basically about 12 bucks U.S. I jumped on it and we were off. It was quite the adventure and ended up taking all day. I bought 3 more 5 gallon cans so we were shuttling 30 gallons of diesel at a time in his Nissan taxi. Now I was told, and told several of my friends and family, that I was going to get diesel in Venezuela for 25 cents a gallon. Well I was wrong. When I paid for the first 30 gallons of diesel (120 liters, they charge by the liter in most countries) I paid just over 6 Bolivars. The current exchange rate is 3 to 1 for Bolivars to U.S., so my TOTAL for 30 gallons of diesel was slightly over TWO DOLLARS U.S. I thought it was a mistake. I was so freaking happy. When I returned to the boat the first time with the first run, I excitedly told Jaymie how I had just paid 2 bucks for all the diesel and she spent the rest of the day laughing at me because I was so excited. She went with me on the next run and while we were at the station I bought some water, a red bull, a snickers (or Peanutopolis in Venezuela), and a six pack of Polar Ice (the local beer). This purchase cost me 27 Bolivars or 9 dollars U.S. This would prove to be more costly than ALL the diesel I ended up buying. It was hysterical. All 3 of us drinking beer in the cab, trunk full of diesel and me ridiculously happy on the way back to the marina. Jaymie and I took the dinghy back out to Boogie, put that 30 gallons in and headed back in. On our next run poor Antonio was getting hungry and his wife was busting his balls to get home. It was almost 8 PM when he finally dropped us the last time and he still had to go to the super market. I know he was tired and I'm sure all the beer and whiskey didn't help matters for him, I know the ride through town was intesting. When it was finally done that day (this was Wed.) I had paid just about 7 dollars for 90 gallons of fuel. Less than 6 cents U.S. per gallon. Yeah you read that right, 6 cents. A nickel and a penny. What up. Venezuela rocks. The next morning Antonio took me on one more quick run and I topped up all the reserve cans. All told, I put around 100 gallons of diesel in the boat, I now have 30 gallons of reserve diesel and 7 gallons of gasoline and it was less than 10 bucks U.S. I took care of Antonio and bought Juan a bottle of Johnny Walker Black label for hooking us up. I can honestly say that I am truly looking forward to August when I get on my way to Panama and can stop in Margarita for a week or so and hopefully have a glass of Johnny with Juan and enjoy Porlamar properly. For any of my new cruiser friends that are going through there Juan is the man and do not hesitate to contact him on VHF 72 at Marina Juan, he has it all. Thanks again Juan.

So we planned to leave that night, Thursday and start heading East. I figured if we left at midnight we would make the offshore islands of Los Testigos sometime in the morning. Just before sundown I saw one of the local boats pumping something to a sailboat anchored near us. I went topside and of course, there was the diesel boat, back in action. I spent a day and a half lugging 5 gallon cans back and forth from boat to the long pier to cab to gas station then back and here was the old diesel boat, all repaired and tied up next door pumping away. What else could I do but laugh when they cruised by Rum Boogie and shouted out "Diesel Skipper?". Karma is such a rotten bitch sometimes. I took a nap and got up around midnight thinking I would pull the hook and get us motoring. To my dismay, we were completely surrounded by pirogues that were fishing. There had been quite a bit of rain during the previous days and that causes the bait fish to come near shore so the fishermen were working nets together and had the bay all but surrounded. I didn’t feel comfortable trying to motor out with all the unlit boats and fishing nets in the water so I resolved to leave early in the morning. At one point, one of the fishing boats was a few feet from the boat at 2 AM. I asked what was up and was told, very cheerfully, PESCANDO! Which basically was me being told that they were having a great time fishing. I laughed and went back to bed. No worries, island time right? We left Margarita this morning and started our trek to Los Testigos, about 45 miles to the East. The cruise went great. I finally managed to get the starboard motor running correctly. I thought I had it fixed before but it continued to vex us until this afternoon when I tore apart the entire fuel delivery and return system and thoroughly cleaned it all. I did this while we were motoring but it wasn’t rough so it really wasn’t that bad. We had great weather and made good time. Not only did I get to catch two good size Barracuda on the trolling lines but about 6 miles off of Los Testigos we were treated to a convoy of dolphins who escorted us for fifteen minutes or so, playfully swimming and jumping in the bow wake. I don’t care how many thousands of dolphins I have seen, they still make me feel like a little kid and it’s always exhilarating running up to the front of the boat and cheering them on as they play. We got into the anchorage right at twilight, shortly after the sun had set. After getting safely hooked up, we had some dinner. Tonight has been one of those incredible nights on an anchorage where you just wish that time would slow down and you loathe each second that ticks off on the clock. The skies are clear and a ton of stars are scattered across the sky. There is no horizon visible in any direction which is due to the fact that there is very little light here. There are around 160 inhabitants on these small islands and they sustain by fishing. As you may imagine, there are only a few small villages and light is scarce. There are a handful of boats nearby and the only light is cast by the anchor lights on top of the masts of the four boats in the anchorage. It’s just after midnight now and I am still listening to the breakers smashing against the beach on the far side of the bay. The trades are blowing full force but the temperature is perfect. After dinner, I rigged up one of the speakers in the front of the boat and just sat on the trampolines taking it all in. What a life. This is what I dreamed about. Jaymie went to bed a couple of hours ago and I sat on the front watching shooting stars. How much better does it get? I hope all of you get to experience something like this sometime in your life. If you haven’t yet, get your ass out and do it. Tomorrow the plan is to get some diving in and do some exploring around these islands, then tomorrow night we start our bash back to Grenada. We need to cover another 88 miles or so against current, swells and headwind but the weather is cooperating so it shouldn’t be too bad. For now, I’m going back up to the trampolines to lay around and breathe in all this beauty until I fall asleep.

So that was Friday night and catches you up on the whole week. Saturday we spent the day cruising around checking out the islands and diving on a reef that extends about 200 yards offshore. The water has a greenish tint there due to runoff from the Orinoco River that dumps into the ocean from the mainland. Still a great spot for diving with lots of huge coral, parrot fish, puffers and even a couple of decent sized squid. So far I have still not seen a Giant Squid, which as many of you know is the only thing I fear. Saturday night we pulled the hook and started the bash to the East. Today is laundry, groceries, ice and hardware store day. I have a few things to work on and just some general maintenance as well as the normal errands to run. The weather seems to be holding so after some adjustments to the SSB radio and a couple of other random items, we should be heading North for the Tobago Cays. For any of you jokers actually planning on visiting me, you might want to time it when I'm going back through the island of Margarita in Venezuela. If you do, don't bring sand to the beach. The women on that island...OH...MY...GOD... I fear I may never return...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Off to lovely Venezuela...

In a few hours we will be pulling the hook and setting sail for Venezuela. The last few days have been spent completing a couple of small projects and doing lots of research on where to go safely for fuel. Venezuela has earned a rough reputation thanks in part to attacks by pirates earlier this year. The plan is to head to Isla Margarita, the largest offshore Venezuelan island and possibly stay there a few days. At this point it is hard to tell as the weather does not look like it is going to cooperate towards the end of the week. The weather models are showing 35 plus knots of sustained wind starting on Wed and several squalls are expected with 50 knots or more. Our best weather window to get down there and get fuel is to leave tonight at around 10 PM and I anticipate it taking no more than 30 hours in a worse case scenario. I suspect we will probably arrive just before sunset tomorrow as we will be running with the wind and current. I'm not sure what the internet situation is down there so it may not be until the weekend or the beginning of next week when I return to Grenada and can update progress. If things work out well there are a couple of local attractions that we are going to try and see, one being the worlds largest waterfall, Angel Falls. I'm not too worried about safety in regards to piracy or thieves. There is a large local cruising community and since the attacks earlier in the year the security has been heightened. Unfortunately, it's probably just as dangerous to park your car in a bad neighborhood in Los Angeles or Fresno, hell, my truck was broken into while I was in Vegas and it was sitting on the driveway of my home in a "safe" yuppie neighborhood in Clovis. The reality is that anywhere can be dangerous and I feel confident that as long as I take the necessary precautions Venezuela is going to be enjoyable for a few days. I will be taking down the American Flag as well as keeping anything valuable locked up tight in the boat. The big thing is dinghy security and although I'm not sure anyone would want this little red rocket, I will be securing that tightly every night as well. Last check showed diesel fuel at 8 cents a liter or 32 cents a gallon. So we are locked and loaded. Jaymie and I made a quick market run this afternoon to stock up on necessary provisions. The good news there is that we chose a perfect time and probably a mile from the store it started dumping rain on us so we were treated to shopping in a freezing cold store while we were soaked. Luckily this time, there was a taxi available and we weren't forced to carry all the groceries back like freaking Sherpas. Got a few parts at the boat store, refilled our drinking water jug, got some ice and once we were back onboard we got everything stowed and the boat ready for sailing. Hopefully by this time tomorrow night we should just about be safely anchored up in the harbor outside Porlamar in Margarita. On the flip side of the coin, if you don't hear from me by next week I fully expect someone to start a campaign to free me from whatever hellish Venezuelan jail they throw me in. I hear customs can be an interesting experience so we'll see. Puss in Boots, I know you have hook ups and primos everywhere so e-mail me your connection down there in case I need to bribe some corrupt official. It's been a while since Puerto Rico so let's hope my limited Spanish is up to the task. Take it easy

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Jaymie meets Capt Chaos...

So here is the latest in Shaneland. Things were pretty busy when I got back from the states. I was hoping to have the boat back in the water last week but it didn't work out that way. My new friend Jaymie made it down to crew on the boat for a month. She arrived here Sunday night and unfortunately the boat was still up in the yard. She is a most welcome addition to Rum Boogie and this month is going to be a blast as we get along great and constantly laugh. She has already gotten to see why I got the nickname of Captain Chaos because as per usual I had my share of things this week that can only happen to yours truly. Monday afternoon we finally splashed back in to the water. We threw a quick wash on the deck and topped up the water tanks. We had the anchor set soon after and finally Boogie was back in her element. I slept great that night, with some help from some good old pirate rum and the next day I pretty much did nothing but read and relax. I had rented a car to provision the boat after my fridge disaster and also to run a few errands and I didn't have to return the car until late Wed afternoon so I took advantage of having wheels for a few days, got everything done and even took another cruise around the island. It's truly amazing driving through the rainforest here. We stopped in the downtown area to pick up some fresh tuna and I had to stop in and say hi to my girlfriend Teresa who sells spices in the outdoor marketplace. She has told me on several occasions I better not leave Grenada cause she has "plans for me". Right now the campaigns are in full swing for an election that takes place mid July so the energy is wild. People are very passionate about this and we saw several different parades and celebrations as we drove around. We dropped the car off and went back to the boat and I got another great night of sleep as the boat rocked gently all night.

Thursday I planned to hook up with a local mechanic who cleans diesel tanks. I have had a problem with the starboard engine since Guadeloupe. The fuel tanks are filthy inside and need to be cleaned thoroughly. This guy has a machine that is similar to the ones that clean swimming pools that will clean the tanks. I set up to meet him on Friday at a local marina. Now when we first got back in the water I had bled the air from the starboard fuel system hoping to be able to use both motors to get out of the concrete slip where they do the hauling and launching but of course it ran for a few moments then shut down so I was forced to use only the port engine. No big deal, just takes a little longer to manuever. So Thursday I tried a couple more things to try and fix this nagging problem because the wind has been howling and I really don't want to deal with a dragging anchor with only one motor at 3 in the morning (which I hope doesn't happen but keep in mind I am Capt Chaos). I got the motor going and went to test it at higher RPM's and under power. I was so happy to learn that when I engaged the gearshift into forward the boat started to back up. Confused, I went to neutral and tried again. No dice. Still reverse. I engaged it into reverse and can you guess, yep, went forward. So I got my dive mask on and had Jaymie engage both motors while I was in the water watching. Both props were spinning the correct way. I got into the engine room thinking maybe a cable came loose while Sheldon was working on installing the copper strip for the SSB radio and maybe he put it on backwards. Nope, all good. So that left one possibility. The first week I was in the yard I had both props serviced by a yard "mechanic". He put the prop back together with the gearing reversed inside. No way I could do anything about it in the water. Only option? Get hauled out again and have the guy fix it. First I had to dinghy over to the yard and talk to Frankie, the yard supervisor. Frankie is insane. He is a tall Grenadian guy with crazy Einstein like hair and a whiny voice that pretty much spends his days walking around the yard in yellow, green, and red rubber sandals while chain smoking cheap cigarettes and yelling at everyone he sees with his Caribbean accent which makes it impossible to understand what he says the first time. So of course after explaining my dilemma his first assessment was that it was my fault. After some time my diplomacy won over and we were to be hauled out at 2 PM and the guy would fix it and we would splash back in the water. I was a little nervous cause 4 PM is quitting time and the only time I have these dudes in a hurry is when it's time to go home. He assured me that we could fix it and splash back in within an hour. So needless to say, I got to spend another night in the boatyard. Yippee. More mosquitoes and no breeze. I had to look up some specs Thurs night so that first thing in the morning we could get the props put together correctly. When I got up at 8 AM on Friday morning it was pouring rain. I just knew that the boys in the yard were gonna call it a day early and poor Jaymie and me would be stuck through the weekend on the hard. I found Frankie and we got on it and we finally got it worked out on Friday morning and to my total amazement we were back in the water by 11 AM. Total pain in the ass. We got reset out in the bay and lounged around because it rained nonstop yesterday from the time we got back into the water. It was a beautiful storm and the rain just did not stop. Today was nice, back to that perfect Caribbean sunshine and I think I managed to finally track down and fix the fuel problem with the starboard engine, fingers crossed on that one.

So life is still good despite my headaches with the repairs and next up should be the run to Venezuela for fuel. I did a bunch of research today online and in the guides about where to go and not go. I'm already getting anxious to sail somewhere and test out the sails since they were worked on so we are just waiting for a weather window. It's only 90 miles to Los Testigos, which will be the first landfall in Venezuela. Then it's another 45 to Isla Margarita where the fuel is. Sorry I've been lagging on updates, internet was kind of sketchy this week but seems to be ok now. Hope everyone is doing well.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

My Science Experiment...

Today I proved to myself once again what a bonehead I can be. Most of the work is done on the boat (at least the stuff that has to be done out of the water, I still have a full page list of random projects to complete) and today is Saturday and the boatyard is shut down until Monday. I'm scheduled to splash back into the water on Monday afternoon. Originally we were shooting for Friday afternoon but we need to finish one last repair on a transducer. Anyway, I figured since no one is in the yard, it would be a good day to go stock up on groceries. Before I left for California I had pretty much used up all the items that require refrigeration. The few things that were left I gave to one of the guys who works here in the yard. I figured it was safe to shut the freezer off and fly away for my trip. I suppose it should have occured to me that there is a drain that is open through the bottom of the boat and maybe, just maybe I should have left the lid up in the locked position so it could get adequate ventilation. When I opened the lid to take stock of what little I had left in there I discovered that I am quite the bug farmer. Apparently, even though certain items don't require refrigeration and are sealed, if left in a hot, humid environment with little air movement, they will magically produce hundreds of tiny little insects that cling to every F-ing thing possible. So a solid two hours of my afternoon was spent hanging upside down in the freezer, washing, bleaching and completely sanitizing the entire thing. It's funny that as I was sweating to death wiping out my infestation I recalled leaving an entire tuna in an ice chest for over a week in the summer heat of Fresno or the countless times coming home from the lake hammered off our asses and leaving ice chests full of beer, liquor and half eaten sandwiches on the back patio for days on end. I don't know how many ice chests have been thrown away just because it was easier to buy a new one than to face the horrors of what had developed inside. I suppose one of these days I'll learn my lesson. Maybe.

Tomorrow night a girl named Jaymie is flying in and she will be on the boat for a month. We originally met in a roundabout way last year when I was leaving on the Fearless trip. She had applied to crew on that boat and when I set sail with them, she e-mailed to say good luck and that she would follow our progress and we have kept in touch since then. Back when I switched boats and began full time on Rum Boogie, she e-mailed to ask why I changed. I gave her the story and she said that if I ever needed crew that should would be up for it. I said anytime and she jumped on it. She made arrangements and will be trying out the life of a full time liveaboard for a month. The plan for now is to get in the water and spend a few days making sure all systems are go and then when the wind lets up (it's been blowing pretty stiff for 3 days now) and the seas lay down, we will shoot down to Venezuela to top up on diesel for 25 cents a gallon. We probably won't stay there and weather permitting will make a round trip and sail back to Grenada. Well I'm off to bed, it's midnight here and I have had a wild Saturday night eating chili, drinking Gatorade and reading all about Single Side Band Radios (oh wow, hold on to your panties girls, I know this sailor talk is hot stuff). See ya...

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Back in Grenada...

Here's the latest update. I made it back to Grenada after some difficulty in catching a connecting flight in Trinidad. I left LAX close to 11 PM Monday night and landed in Miami, connecting at 10 AM the next morning to Port of Spain in Trinidad. We landed there shortly before 2 PM and of course my flight to Grenada took off at 3 PM so there was little hope of clearing immigration and customs then checking in with the small airline to make my connection. They had 3 immigration officers working the booths in Trinidad and of course we had 300 passengers that needed clearance so the pace was agonizingly slow. I was doing my best to keep calm and stay on "island time" and because of one very cool airport employee I was able to slide through ahead of everyone else. I retrieved my check in bags and ran to customs where I was treated to a thorough questioning and inspection which resulted in another lost twenty minutes. By the time I ran across the airport and arrived at the Liat counter to check in it was 2:45 PM and no one was there. I was told it was too late but that I could get on the 8:20 PM flight that was going to Barbados but it would be stopping first in Grenada. This seemed reasonable until 6 PM when the counter finally reopened and I was treated to a very unfriendly chick who informed me there was a 180 dollar penalty for changing flights. I took a deep breath and said WHAT THE F***!!! Actually, that was only on the inside. I calmly asked her why and she stared blankly. I'm not sure the screening process when Liat hires employees is very thorough. After refusing to pay for something that wasn't my fault she finally decided to tell me that it was 180 Trinidadian (TT) dollars which equals about 31 dollars U.S. so I just paid. I was sent back and forth four times between agents for various crap and finally just prior to printing my boarding pass I was informed that it would be 480 dollars for my "overweight" bags. It ended up being an additional 79 U.S. I hate Liat. Normally you are allowed two bags for check in, each one can weigh up to 50 lbs and both of my bags were under the normal allowance. Of course the douche bags at Liat allow a TOTAL of 50 lbs for your two check in items. Whatever. Ok I'm done venting. I finally touched down in Grenada about 10 PM Tuesday night. I got a cab back to the yard and spent a few hours trying to fall asleep. The worst part was that I slept very little on the flights because I was fortunate enough to be seated next to some mutant and her freaky demon spawn that chose to scream for 5 hours on the first one. But hey, everyting irie mon...

I spent all of yesterday working on the boat and finalizing preparations to go back in the water at 3 PM. It was actually pretty cool because everyone here in the yard stopped by the boat at some point during the day to welcome me back. I was really hurting yesterday from the jet lag and the fact that my internal clock is still 3 hours behind on L.A. time. I tried to go to bed early last night but just tossed and turned. Today I was up first thing with the electronics guy and followed that by putting the sails back on with the guys from the sail shop. I'm catching a quick break due to rain, I'm just hoping we can get everything done by tomorrow. I imagine I will be asleep by 7 Pm tonight as I am still dragging ass from the traveling and the visit.

Just want to say thanks real quick to everyone who helped me out during my trip back home, you made things so much easier. I had a great time seeing everyone. I got to visit with my aunt and see that strength in her that I wrote about so I know sometime in the future she will be able to visit me on a boat whereever I am. I watched one of my best friends get married and had a great time at his wedding seeing a bunch of the firefighters I used to work alongside. I got to hang out with my nieces and even had Brianna spend the night with me at Josh's house during which we went to Chuck E. Cheese and I'm still not sure who had more fun, Josh or my niece. Overall it went by too fast and I'm sorry that I couldn't see everyone. Quick story from my trip. I went to my bank which is a local firefighter credit union. The ladies there have always been top notch and have always been amazing putting up with my insanity. They are terrific. So I stopped by to say hi with my niece. We went in, caught up with the girls and then one of the ladies asked me if I knew my debit card had been suspended. I said no but that I hadn't been using it for awhile, pretty much doing only cash. She said she locked it out because there were some unusual purchase attempts made and she was pretty sure it wasn't me. I asked what it was and she sheepishly asked me if I had tried to buy a Russian wife online. Yeah. Me. BUY A WIFE!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry. I laughed and everyone else did too. Of course my best friend Jeffro had to be standing right there when she said it so I can only imagine how this is all going to play out. She laughed and told me she knew it wasn't me because it originated in Iraq (the attempted purchase) but she wanted to check because they know how crazy I am and who knows if I decided to go over there. Out of curiosity I asked how much they tried to use. 1200 dollars U.S. That's it. Apparently that's all it takes and you too can wed a lovely ex-prostitute from Mother Russia. I had just gotten a bunch of cash to take back with me and I joked that I had enough to buy 4 wives and still have enough for dinner at Hooters. So anyway, as for now there will be no wifey arriving Fed Ex to Rum Boogie anytime soon, I still have to see what the girls look like in Colombia, I hear it's 6 to 1 girl to guy ratio and that 4 of those 6 are close to a 10, one cruiser told me that if a family has 4 daughters that 3 of them will be smoking hot, sounds like the world I wanna live in...