Lord of the Flies, part 1...

This is my official notice that I am declaring war on the flies. I don't know what the hell happened but in all my time in anchorages I have only seen the occasional fly buzzing around in the cabin. Now all of the sudden I'm being assaulted by what seems to be a full blown invasion. All during daylight hours for the past few days they seem to swarm in the cabin all through the salon and the galley and just disappear at sunset. So yesterday I went to the hardware store and bought a bunch of fly paper traps and spent an hour creating my fortress against my winged assailants.

As of this writing the tally is 24 to 1. There are 24 flies stuck in the various papers I hung but they did get one good shot on me. One of the papers is hanging over the galley sink and I keep the window above it open for a breeze through the boat. Well just prior to sunset last night it started to rain so I rushed into the galley to shut the window and I was forced to reach around (not that kind Ron) the fly paper to close and lock the window. At that moment I believe they saw the chance to attack and I maintain that a fly did a kamikaze run at the paper causing it to sway just enough to hit my forearm (it couldn't have been wind or the boat rocking). Now...this in and of itself isn't that big a deal but for anyone who knows me and knows anything about how F ing sticky fly paper is, you can probably do the math and realize that my hairy ass arm and that goop on the paper are a recipe for disaster. I have freaking terrorist hairy arms and that stupid shit stuck to me tighter than some of the random girls I have dated. It sucked ripping it off. Just imagine putting a giant band aid on your head and ripping it off, yeah, real fun. So it's on. They took the war to another level so I am currently in the planning phase to begin chemical warfare. I'll keep you updated.